ADD & Anxiety Disorder

By Godsgrl 81 April 24 at 3:57 pm 166 1

Godsgrl 81

Being ADD has never been easy for me . I grew up in a very loving family whom accepted me for whom I was & never pressured me to some one I was not . As I got older I was always very nervous especially around a crowd of people & I wasn't really very social in elementary school or middle school . When I got into high school I was able to kind of break away from every one be my own person , I joined the track & cross country clubs , it was a way for me not deal with my anxiety or as I through the nervousness . Now my parents divorced when I was 2 yrs old , so my dad & I never had much of relationship & any time we did spend time together he was always pressuring me to be better & do stuff out side my comfort zone . I am surprised I made through of the Fellowships camps I went to as kid but once again I through the nervousness would just go away eventually . As I have gotten older my 20's my anxiety has gone up & down , it was there when I was pregnant with my son , didn't think anything about it , then being a young single mother that difficult , the bio father was not a very good partner to me so I ended up leaving the relationship early on before my son was born , so there was a lot of emotions there . My anxiety did not fully hit until I lost custody of my son to DSS in 2009 , three weeks after I buried my Grandmother whom was a very godly influence on my life , I was forced by DSS to give up my 8 yr old son , the day after his 8th birthday . That whole year of going in & out of court Fighting for my son & DSS took its toll on me mentally & emotionally . This May will be 7 yrs this my grandmother's passing & 7 yrs since I gave my son up for adoption . This yr my son will be 15 & still do not get any contact with him because of the State of NC's rules . Since his adoption I have lost more close family members . Most of my immediate family have passed away . This has been very hard on me emotionally & mentally . On top of that I have been in a long term relationship with a partner whom is Bipolar , its definitely not been easy , My anxiety did majorly bad until this past September when he & I went on a family vacation with his whole family , to say the least , I was miserable , my anxiety was at a 10 the whole time , it was not a vacation for me . Then in October our 2 yr old Jack Russell was attacked by a 90 pound pit bull that lives in our Trailer park . Poor baby had to go through Emergency surgery , had to have a drain in her belly for 4 days , was on all kinds of pain medication , antibotics ,over 40 staples , couldn't play for two weeks . IT took three months for her hair to grow back .. Her vet bill alone for everything was well over a thousand dollars , I was forced to take out a care Credit card just to pay for her medical care . I was also forced to take the owner of the Pit bull that attacked my Jack Russell to small claims court & sued him . I won my case & he was ordered to pay well over a thousand dollars to me . Its Been 5 months since court & he has yet to make payments to the small claims court , even though he has Ten yrs to pay this off . Now that my Dog is finally healed , Back In January I went back to the Doctor simply because I couldn't take it any more , I expressed to my doctor that my anxiety was getting worse & that I was having a hard tine concentrating especially with my ADD & anxiety . My doctor put me on 10 MG of Lexapro started taking it of a night & for a while that 10 mg helped , then in March another close family member of mine passed away & my partner's father in law was hospitalized due to heart problems , I started having break through anxiety , went back to my doctor on April 7th , I had increased my the Lexapro my self taking 10 mg of a night & 10 MG of morning but by noon time the Lexapro would wear off & I was right back to where I was , break through anxiety & not able to concentrate on anything , the simple act of going to the grocery store of so challenging for me because I could not focus on anything & my anxiety was crazy , my heart was racing , I did not feel balanced & all I wanted to do was hide some where safe , be left a lone & cry . So the Doctor increased the Lexapro to 20 MG at night . I have also been of Topamax for Miagranes for well over 2 yrs , I a slowly tapering off . My doctor also put me on Buspirone 5 MG in the morning & 5 mg in the afternoon . The Buspirone has definitely helped the anxiety & its helped me focus better too . I can't take it at night because it keeps me awake , unfortunately I have insomnia & I have had for while , it goes with the anxiety disorder . I am very careful about sleep aids , especially with being ADD , knowing that my system is sensitive . My doctor has put me on Trazodone 50 MG but I am only taking 25 MG to start off with . The first night I took it at 10:30 took a couple of hours to fall a sleep , yesterday I was extremely tired & did not have any energy . Took my dose last night , backed it off 10 pm , fell asleep at 12:20 slept all through the night , did not wake up until my fitbit buzzed for my 9am dose of Buspirone .. To say the least I have manage being ADD for 35 yrs but this anxiety disorder is whole different ball game for me .

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  • Cshearer182
    Cshearer182 May 26 at 1:25 am   
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    Hi, I appreciated your story and wanted to thank you for sharing. I was never diagnosed with ADHD but my fiancĂ© does so I know how hard it can get. Especially trying to find the right medications etc…exhausting right? I'm sorry you have to fight this obstacle and you're not alone.
    I too have insomnia and now severe anxiety, which escalated to PTSD. Thats a tale for another day :) I'm experiencing new challenges, I'm feeling what seems like similar symptoms related to ADHD, in addition to my other conditions; I can not focus or feel settled, im all over the place and I want to just complete 1 task not 19 without any progress!?! Im working on that! It had me going bonkers irritating myself. After going to the Dr's who I have been seeing for several years, still trying different anxiety and sleep options I'm so exhausted. Wanting to figure out what works best. So I had to do something else along with my DR's advice. I recently turned to aromatherapy and absolutely love it. It's not a fix it all but from my research and time using this method, I can finally relax as long as I keep it consistent. Melatonin has been helful but only at 10mg, I've only found online. I hope this helps and good luck on your journey!

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